As with most things from The Onion, this is superb:
After years of secretly monitoring the public we were astounded so many people would willingly publicise where they live, their religious and political views, alphabetised lists of all their friends, personal email address, phone number, hundreds of photos of themselves and even status updates of what they were doing moment to moment. It is truly a dream come true for the CIA.
Bonus points for the knocks to other social networks, including:
- Twitter – “400 billion tweets and not one useful bit of data was ever transmitted.”
- Foursquare – Of Al-Qaeda designing it to identify popular locations for bombing: “Actually Brooke that’s been discredited as any sort of real threat. The people that use that site are people that no one would mind seeing bombed anyway.”